#147 - kingdom of the crystal skull

just got back from seeing indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull and let me tell you that movie was GLORIOUS! for all the worst reasons. y'know before the movie i was thinking it would be pretty fun to get drunk and see harold & kumar instead, but actually i should've gotten drunk for indiana jones, it had a real mystery science theater 3000 feel to it, that would've been pretty sweet. but on it's own it had a ton of merit, and my "merit" i mean it'll probably make for a great new ride at disneyland. heck, you wouldn't even have to edit the movie, just do a straight cut & paste, same clips, same sound bites, it'd work perfectly with a little pirates of the caribbean water ride or some kinda haunted mansion thing.

well, if you haven't yet seen the movie, i don't wanna give away anything because you've just gotta go see it, but if you have seen the movie please contact me anytime, day or night to discuss. i could talk about it for hours. in fact, without giving away too much, let me note down the best parts of this movie, in order of appearance:

1. groundhog reactions
2. flying magnetic gunpowder
3. machine gun invincibility
4. 30 second automatic jet engine ignition starter
5. atomic bomb-proof lead lined refrigerator
6. de-nuclear fallout radiation scrub down
7. sharks vs. jets
8. cobwebs
9. pygmy midget blowdart leprechans
10. skeletons
11. mummies
12. more cobwebs
13. more skeletons
14. disintigrating mummies
15. russian woman's crystal skull voice-over monologue
16. snake rope
17. cameo by the black smoke monster from lost (paving a road in the jungle)
18. russian woman with rifle and sword striking (several) poses on the back of a moving jeep
19. swordfight across moving jeeps (when guns are available)
20. magically retracting jungle vine
21. tarzan and the monkeys
22. ant army (apparently they were relatives of the scarab beetles from "the mummy")
23. extra bendy giant tree limb growing out of the side of the cliff
24. "what does he mean, '3 drops?!'"
25. COBWEBS
26. how long were those guys living in the walls?
27. who resets all the booby traps?
28. torches are both self-lighting and easily accessible in ancient south american caves
29. cobwebs, cobwebs, COBWEBS!! we love cobwebs!
30. aliens get their kicks by waiting around for some dumb humans for hundreds of years, but instead of sticking around to gloat, they hike it up and take their show elsewhere, so that's kind of selfish huh? get a life aliens.

man and i know there's so much more too, i wish i had brought a pen and paper into the theater so i could write this all down. too sweet. haha. now if that doesn't make you want to see this movie...


by the way... about the "real" crystal skulls... i watched that documentary and read some articles, and the story that they present really isn't that compelling of a myth. what i'd be most interested in are the light channels and the theory that the skulls hold information. these seem like likely candidates for further scientific query and could be very testable, providing very intriguing evidence for parts of the mythology:

1. when they laser imaged one of the skulls they found channels of light being directed through the eyes and mouth - although my thought is that the rest of the skull is rounded, so wouldn't all the light naturally be channeled into the multiple facets of the eye sockets and mouth anyway?
2. the skull is made of the same kind of material that is now used in making computer chips and so it might be like an advanced CD that we don't have the technology to read... yet... - too general of a statement, but worth investigating, of course, i could also say that water and metal wires both conduct electricity so icicles must be like caveman extension cords right?

okay, so lots of bs when it comes to the mythology of the crystal skulls, but some of it could be cool to explore with more scientific studies of the skulls themselves, we have the technology!