Friday, July 10, 2009

#269 - theory #8: garage filled with tortured rhesus monkeys


i was gonna start out this post by saying "one of the not-so-great things about living in a townhouse is that you're so close to your neighbors," but actually what i'm about to write about has nothing to do with closeness of neighbors, because this could very easily happen in a regular house neighborhood, it's just an unlucky situation.

so instead i will start out by saying, "what the fricken' hell are those people doing over there?!"

every single day for the past two weeks i've been hearing screams. not just screams, mind you, but butt-monkeyingly irritating shrieks coming from this townhouse on the corner of the street. well, not only for the past two weeks, i've actually been hearing it off and on for the past probably 6 months, but just since i've been home more often during the summer i've noticed it more consistently. at first i thought it was like someone's pet parrot or something because i didn't sound human... and it always came in two parts, never separate, always two different squeals spaced consistently a second apart... like, AAAH... OOOOAAA! i can't type it, it's hideously inexplicable.

but then i thought if it was a parrot, or a pet or animal of any kind, i'd probably hear it all throughout the day, but i usually only hear it during certain times of the day... between 5-7 pm. during the summer i've also been hearing it between 8-9 am. which leads me to think that it actually is a human, like some kid playing video games and screaming at the tv, but sometimes it occurs so often, consecutively, like 5-6 times per minute. and lately i've also been hearing some kind of "laughing" accompanying it, but inhuman laughter, i guess it could be someone laughing really weirdly, but it's just SO FRICKEN' ANNOYING!

my parents came over one day to look at my yard, and they heard it too. i asked them what they thought it was and my mom INSTANTLY said, "someone's sick." and i said, "what sick? they can't be sick forever yelling like that day after day." and my mom said, "sick in the head." haha, not that it's funny, but she said it completely matter-of-factly, like it was so obvious and here's me running through billions of theories in my head from "it could be a horny cat" to "i'm being haunted by idiotic child ghosts."

ps - does anyone watch "ghost adventures" on the travel channel? it's like any other ghost hunting show, they use night-vision cameras and electromagnetic sensors and evp recordings, but it's funny because the guy totally provokes the ghosts, he's all walking through the haunted prison at night trying to call them out, taunting them to "come get me," it's so lame, but funny. and when they finally do hear a "clank" or a frog they get totally freaked out.

so the hunt continues, i've finally figured out which house the noise is coming from, one of those days when i was working in my yard i was hearing it, and then i heard and saw one of the garage doors close on the place across the street and then i only heard the noise faintly, so at least i've zeroed in on the source... now i just gotta figure out what the crap they're doing in that garage. not that i want to spy on them, i stop at spying on them because then they would be influencing my life and behavior and i would not like them to have that kinda power over me.

still... it's damn annoying. i mean, i don't so much as hear my next-door neighbor's tv that's what was so good about these buildings, i don't ever hear my side-by-side neighbors do anything, but that scream comes right through my windows. and i know i'm not the only one hearing it because i went out of my front door one day to pick up the newspaper and those horrible shrieks were echoing throughout the streets dude. seriously. i bet everyone within a two building radius can hear it.

grr... i totally empathize with that lady who killed the peacock. when i was living at home i had the same problem with those damn spotted-nape doves roosting right outside my window... but i didn't have a bat. not guilty. set her free and shake her hand. not that i'd want to kill a peacock, but don't put in jail for it, geez.

anyway, on a less psychotic note... i'm posting these pictures that i took at the beach in between my rants to trick myself into feeling happier about it, haha, at least during the day i can escape this town and head out to the north shore, it's mighty quiet out there on the ocean waves, that's for sure.

2 comments:

brandizzle said...

crazy monkey sex. that is all i have to say.

Kat said...

my guess is that it's one of those kids that are "our" kind of kid and you're hearing them during the day now b/c it's summer.