i love october. here are some things i love about it:1. halloween creepiness
2. the weather gets colder
3. volleyball and football at mid-season
4. 1 week vacation
5. time to start thinking about the holidays
sometimes i think i need to live somewhere with seasons because i love autumn and wintertime. well, at least i think i do, i would still need a very mild winter (think san diego, not wisconsin), but i like the idea of being able to wear cold winter clothes, see your breath in the morning, and see the leaves change, and even walk around in a little bit of frost, maybe. but still, living here at least i can live the seasons through the holidays, and the weather changes here too in october/november, it starts raining at least, and that's enough to make things semi-cold and cozy-making.
anyway, so october is a great start to all that, i love horror shows and assorted creepiness, but not slashers, i got over slasher movies after scream i think. i like cleaner horror and creepiness. like skeletons.
this is pacman's skeleton. i like skeletons a lot. that's why anatomy and physiology class was so exciting to me, i love learning anatomical names, all latinized and everything (yes, i am a nerd, duh). i'm gonna make another shout-out to one of my favorite shows here... bones... they make great use of the science because it's not the main focus of the stories, in fact, in many cases it seems as if the science gets in the way of the stories and actually solving the case becomes so secondary to the character storylines that are running, and that makes for good tv. speaking of good tv... thanks to joe for that last comment... also WTF to fox!? c'mon, how hard is it to keep a well-developed, quality show on tv? okay, so i really don't understand these tv ratings except that one time kathleen was asked to be a nielsen reporter and all she did was write down the shows she watched each week and mailed it in. wtf is that? where's my input? i think i'm a much better demographic than kathleen right? c'mon, i'm single male, age 18-39 right? haha! although she does spend a lot of money on things so maybe she is a more preferred demographic huh? anyway, it's not the first time and it definately won't be the last time good tv shows get axed by the suits so i shouldn't be surprised. what DOES surprise me is how little of a chance these shows get. i heard that "do not disturb" was cancelled too, that only had like three episodes right? give 'em a chance, don't just cut and run.
anyway, to start of the month of october and getting ready for halloween, i guess my brain wanted to jump-start the freakiness and gave me a totally freaky dream last night. what happened in the dream wasn't really all that creepy, just a lot of assorted day residue stuff from work, etc, but what was freaky was that i was completely emotive in the dream. like i felt rage and anger like i never feel in waking life, to the point of it being a little bit scary when i woke up that i could actually feel that kind of anger. anyway, it was so freaky i woke up quickly and immediately went to the computer to write it all down so i wouldn't forget, here's what i wrote:
first thing i remember is i was driving to the shopping center, kinda like pearlridge, there were two phases... i drive to one phase then get a phone call saying that my grandpa is in the hospital that's also in the shopping center by sears, but i'm at the wrong phase so i drive back to the shopping center with sears. i get there and park in an underground structure, go up the elevator into the hospital and i see morgan wearing a green hawaiian print dress, she has a like 4 year old son who recognizes me, like because he goes to the school where i work and she's also carrying another baby in ther arms. we talk for a little bit and i think it's weird that she's got two kids already. but she goes downstairs and i wait for the elevator to take me upstairs.
i go in the elevator but i don't know which floor to press, then i get a vivid image of a note i used to have saying the room was 3156b or something so i go to the 3rd floor and find my grandpa's room, i go inside and he's on the bed with nasogastric tubes all in him and all my family sitting around (when he passed away about a month ago i walked into his room with all my family sitting around, but he had already passed away, so no tubes). i think it's weird because my granda already passed away. so i expected to see him gone already but he was still alive and not doing too good. then he asks my aunty to take out the tubes because he's had enough already and he's ready to die. but after they take everything out he's doing okay and talks to us and we have to feed him so my sister goes to feed him like a plate of shredded chicken and beef jerkey but she'd kinda nervous because she doesn't really know how to feed him because those foods are kinda tough and hard to eat, like, how to i feed an old person? but she's trying to feed him, but he can't really chew or anything so he keeps coughing. then we get talking about who's going to watch him and my mom is there and they're agruing about it. and i say "why can't i watch him," but no one wants to trust me. then the argument turns into who's gonna watch joshua (my nephew) and i get super pissed off that no one's asking me to watch or no one's even thinking that i could watch even though i'm gonna be on vacation next week and will have plenty of time. then all of a sudden we're in my office at work, which is also a public library, there are kids checking out books and my nephew there with my mom and they're at some computer tyrying to learn how to talk. i don't remember a lot of but i know that i'm still super mad because no one will trust me to watch him. then we're in my office at work and my co-workers are going home, and my dad is there trying to finish borrowing books and take my nephew home. it's time to go home and i'm trying to close the widnows to the classroom to go home, but there windows are all still ajar and i have to keep going back to close them over and over again.
there are other co-workers in the room like eileen and judy (who i don't work with everyday) and they're all coming in to work, kathleen is there too and all of sudden she leaves early, like at 3:30 and eileen and all of us are shocked that she left early (because i always tease her about going home way too late). i'm still trying to convince my mom that i could watch joshua, but she's making orange construction paper cut outs for him, then she leaves and my dad comes in to take joshua so i'm helping clean up the construction paper and getting some for him to take home in an envelope. as i leave the classroom with another co-worker one of the office workers who retired last year comes to the room, she says she's got work to do. but i have to lock the door because i'm leaving so i ask her if she's got a key but she doesn't, but she says she needs to do lots of work over the weekend in a super condescending like voice so i'm angry at her too. so i "lock" her in, because she doesn't have a key to lock up after herself and i start walking to my car with my co-worker. there's A+ kids all over the place and one of them goes up to my co-worker and starts trash talking her, so i yell at the kid that he can't talk to her like that and while i'm doing that some other kids comes up and like assaults me so i block the kid's arm and knock him down like i would do to my dog when she jumps up at me and he falls to the ground. then some A+ mother comes by and starts yelling at me and i'm all swearing at the mother telling her she doesn't know what really happened and she better get the f*** outta my face. she threatens to report it and i'm so fricken pissed off that i just tell her to shut the f*** up and everything. so i leave and my co-worker walks one way and i walk the other way, but i can't find my car, because i parked in a different place, and i can't walk fast, i'm walking super super slow and it takes trememndous effort to lift my legs and walk. by now it's night time and i'm walking through the neighborhood and i'm thinking of places that i could hide in case i get in trouble for pimp slapping that kid.
i walk down the street but can't find my car, i walk and there's a car end to end blocking the middle fo the road and construction guys playing around beyond that, i ask if i can walk across the cement and they say it's okay but it's super hard to walk. it takes forever to walk anywhere. i walk past some kids playing and some people walking and come to a townhouse complex, some guy is outside with a pvc pipe and he presses a button on there to release some sonic pitch that's supposed to keep the bugs or fish or frogs away as pest repellent. i still can't find my car ande wonder how i'm gonnna get home, but it's so fricken super hard to walk that all i'm doing is struggling trying to walk and hoping i'll get somehwere, eventually....
then i woke up. freaky yeah? well, a lot of rubbish happening in that dream, but some things that stuck out:
1. i was super pissed off about four times in the dream, like maddening rage kinda angry, about things that i don't really care about in real life, kinda scary to think that i could feel that kinda anger
2. i think about work too much (imagine that! who would've thought right? ha)
3. i have a lot of dreams where i'm walking somewhere (either trying to get somewhere fast or just leisurely walking) and walking takes a super amount of effort. like wading through neck deep water except the water is thick as rubber cement. or maybe it feels like i'm trying to climb a flight of super steep stairs after sprinting up about 30 floors already. my theory is that i'm in some sleep stage where my mind is more awake but my body is not yet there and so my brain maybe is telling my body to move and my body is not responding so that gives me some kind of weird dream feedback, huh?
anyway, that was a weird dream.
3 comments:
first of all, sorry to hear about your grandpa. i guess i didn't know or realize. i don't think you posted anything about it but i could've just been caught up in my own little world. i remember a long time after my grandpa died, like years, i had this dream about him where i said goodbye. it was nice.
your dreams were pretty vivid, maybe you had a lot to eat before. that's what happens to me when i eat a lot before bed! i love dreaming though, it's one of my favorite things. the overflow of the day definitely gets in there but also things deep in your subconscious as well. random people end up in mine, like celebrities or tv characters. but they aren't special in the dream, just people.
BONES is awesome!! i just want them to keep making new ones. keep the seasons going! why mess with a good thing?! that's really frustrating when you have something good and they run out of storylines or something.
i bet when you're dreaming of walking you're moving your legs. maybe your blankets are too heavy? do you hurt when you wake up or feel stiff? speaking of "stiff" i read this book of the same name, very interesting, about cadavers. it's pretty scientifical, about different ways that cadavers are used and such. the writer is also hilarious! get this, for school i have to plan my own funeral and write an obituary! pretty morbid eh?
you should do something about that rage...ever try the speed bag or some kind of boxing? way fun and gets out aggression too. try it!
Hey, sorry to hear about your grandpa. Hope you and family are doing okay.
And I got selected to be a Nielson family not once, but twice, my friend. They must love me. I think because both me and Lance are in their desired demographic, not because we buy more stuff b/c I think you buy way more stuff than me. It's always fun in the beginning but then by the end of the week I get tired of writing down all of my tv viewing. Lance always grumbles b/c Golden Girls is on there every weekday morning when I get ready for work so then he's embarrassed although we specify that I'm the one watching it, not him. If we get selected again, you should come over b/c we have to add everyone who watches tv in our house during that time to the booklet.
I thought your dream was funny b/c I think it showed what you really think. Like, I know the part about me working too much b/c you're not shy about that, but the other stuff too about your anger at your kids and co-workers and how you feel your family doesn't trust you (I think the same thing about my family, by the way). Maybe you should start telling your co-workers to piss off. Like not in a mean way, but jokingly, kind of. I did that yesterday at my dept. meeting when they were talking inputting progress reports. I told them all that if they emailed me about inputting, then they would get this response, "Leave me alone. They'll get done when they're done." Some of them were a little taken aback, but others of them laughed and said that they were planning to email me everyday, but still at least they got the message. Like maybe the next time you say "good morning" to that guy in your school who never responds, maybe you should offer him therapy to teach him how to reciprocate or even initiate greetings. Or maybe take your kids by his office and tell them that they're working on greeting people appropriately and see if he gets the message.
wow, first of all, congratulations to kathleen and brandi for even reading the super fricken long post!
second, yeah, i guess i never really told anyone about my grandpa, well, it was a private funeral and everything and i took off of work so i guess i didn't think to tell anyone. but it's kind of okay because after my grandma passed away he had been living with my aunty and his health hasn't been that great for the past few years (he had a pacemaker and a few TIAs, etc.) so when he was finally admitted to the hospital they told us that it wouldn't be a long stay, y'know? but it was good because he was only in the hospital about a week so it gave everyone time to go see him while he was still awake and aware and then he passed shortly after that, so it was not so "sudden" y'know?
third, yeah, what the heck is up with my crazy dreams? although, you're right brandi, that night i had a late dinner because i went to yoga from 7-8 and then i ate dinner after that, usually i eat dinner before yoga so that was way later than usual. although, my dreams usually never have any meaning, or any semblence of meaning at all, so that's why it was weird that the themes in that dream were so realistic. although i do admit that i might need to be more open about expressing what i'm feeling, although i have doubts about how well some of those things would work at work (by the way, wtf is up with all these teachers and progress reports? they're all emailing me saying, "let me know when they're in so i can print them" i got messages like that from two weeks ago, like, let's at least let the quarter end huh? i guess they're just trying to be early, but then don't push everyone else to be early too).
by the way, next time you get nielson voting things, let me know, i gonna write that i watch BONES every wednesday and i watch TERMINATOR every monday and then tape record both of them and watch them all the fricken time and buy every single product that's advertised during their commericals... maybe that'll keep them on the air.
Post a Comment