what a weird past week it's been. the good news is that i'm definately out of any sort of rut that i might have been in before the past 7 days. not that i was feeling bummed out or anything, but with the new sense of clarity that i've achieved this week, everything that has come before just seems like i was kinda fumbling around until now y'know?
so if you didn't read that last post then [i don't blame you because it was so long and rambly and] i'll sum it up thusly:
monday - crappy, bad day at work, become infuriated to a point that i could not imagine myself ever getting to, made me reflect a little, self-introspect a little, and eventually (with the help of starting to read an actually book) gained some stillness
tuesday - crappy, bad day at work, realized that the ire i felt the day before was very useful in that situation and not inherently a bad thing, remembered how it helped calm and ease my disposition to read and settled into a new habit
wednesday - crappy, bad day at work, but it was the last one before thanksgiving weekend (plus!), kept reading twilight... completely hooked on it
thursday - thanksgiving with the family, back into the old (very old, pre-having my own place to live old) routine, but thankful that after family-time i could go back to me-alone-time... still hooked on twilight, finished it that night
friday - decided to be more productive and out-going with my routines, went for a work-out in the morning, decided to buy the rest of the twilight series books... couldn't wait long enough to start reading it so i decided to pretend to be an urbanite, bought the books at the bookstore then went to starbucks, got a holiday-type coffee and read a few chapters of new moon at a little one-person table, awesome... later on i didn't feel so awesome
i was feeling kinda queasy, i thought it was the coffee that was like the first one i've had since last christmas, but i really was feeling pretty crappy. which turned out to be a good thing because then i decided to stay close to home (for "safety" reasons) and dove into new moon.
well, i'm still reading it now, so i won't give my commentary, but i would like to say that... i'm still not sure if it's the book or the act of reading itself, but i've gained such a fantastic disposition this week. one of stillness and clarity. like i can sense control of myself and squeeze or release the brakes masterfully. i don't know what it is exactly, but i like it, it's a good place to be and i'd like to stay here. so i'll continue reading that twilight series (i really do think it's very good, however the movie may turn out) and try and keep hold of this new disposition.
PS - OUCH!! NCAA tournment for women's volleyball came out today... hawaii got the no. 7 see (respectable) but they play at USC for the 1st & 2nd rounds (that means no birthday volleyball matches for me in the stan sheriff center, boo!) and what's more, even though USC gets to host, they play san diego first round, ouch! in the nation polls hawaii is currently #6, USC is #11, and san diego is #16 so tough bracket. still... i'm not going to say TOO much (except that absolutely hawaii should have hosted and if you know volleyball and you've seen some of the other brackets, this was way juiced) because it's a tournament after all and the only one who deserves to win is the one who doesn't lose, so there. we don't got the bcs in volleyball. besides, penn state is a monster, if they don't repeat as national champs i'll be absolutely shocked. but, ah well, main thing is... no. 7 hawaii vs. belmont in the first round of the NCAA tournment, let the games begin!
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