i know i've been over this subject before... but i guess it takes a few times going over it to sink into my brain. i'm a slave to my schedule. and it's gonna take some time to get over it. i was doing pretty well (see my other posts about guilt and over-adherance to my self-imposed routines) these past few weeks but you take a few steps forward and still slip back sometimes. but, yesterday was an especially great day because i didn't let my intention to carry out set plans interfere with actually carrying them out. see, i went surfing, but was disappointed when i got to the beach because it was cold and cloudy and the water was flat, so i drove up and down north shore from haleiwa to a little past sunset just looking around, being a tourist for an hour or so and ended up at lani's. it was still cold, no sun out and little waves, but i let myself forget about my original plans and went in anyway. and it was a nice day out there, i actually saw and talked to someone i knew out there and it ended up being a pretty good time, i even stayed way longer than i had planned to (mostly because i was talking to my friend).
then as soon as i got home i found myself again creating pinpoint plans in my head about how to spend the rest of the night. but luckily my friend called to play tennis so i let myself let go of those plans and go with the flow of the day. and it was loads of fun too. so what does that tell me? why do i get so worked up about creating hour-by-hour plans for my days? it's summertime dammit! why can't i go with the flow?
well, i've identified one problem... my calendar. i've been writing down everything i do each day. it started off because i wanted to keep track of my workouts at the gym, to make sure that i'm making the most of my $$ gym membership. but i've been noticing that it's becoming more of a guilt thing to me, when i don't see any writing each day i've come to regard those days as "wasted time." when really, that's not the case right? can't condense all of your life experiences into a few words and phrases on a calendar, that's dumb. so, i've stopped writing in my calendar (well, besides appointments and special events of course). i think it's going well so far. i've got to stop being a slave to these artificial devices and live freely. right?
44 (and a day)
23 hours ago
1 comment:
i am definitely a planner. i use my google calendar a lot and i like to do what i plan. i planned this trip and planned all these things i wanted to do and places to see.
when you are traveling you need to be flexible. things take longer than expected and the bus you were supposed to take does not exist. so i´ve learned to just take things in stride and make new plans. we even got ahead of schedule because we were gonna take a bus to cobán but instead took it to lanquin (the next day´s destination) because the bus (okay, minivan) was going there anyway and we didn´t need to pay extra. there wasn´t anything really to see in cobán but it was to be a stopping point.
we almost changed our plans yesterday because we thought the cops were after us. such is not the case but i will write about it on my regular blog. i don´t want my mom to read about it. :P
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