#61 - boldness

i seem to have my most interesting dreams when i'm stressed from work. do you think that stress causes intense dreaming? could be. anyway, it's not that i dream about work or anything related to work (wouldn't that be so crappy? you have to go to work all day and then dream about work at night? gross). but as far as i can remember, most of my best (re: weirdest, strangest, most disturbing) dreaming has come in times of intensity from work or school. man, you should've heard some of the dreams i had when i first started externship during grad school, those were some of the most intense dreams i've ever had. that's when i had incredibly complex dreams almost nightly with some weird phenomena, like the setting for my dreams would be very consistent, like all my dreams about school would be at "the school" of my dreams which was not like any of my schools in real life, but it was the same every single time i dreamed about being in a school. that's also when i dreamed that i got shot (i was outside my house running away from robbers and one of them pulled a gun and i said, "what the crap dude you think you're gonna shoot me? no way you'd get away with it dumbass." and then he shot me and i said, "nice one dumbass, you're going to jail now, stupid, haw haw." it was kinda fun.

anyway, now that i'm back to work after the summer break i think that ramped up the intensity a little bit more because this is what i dreamed last night:

so i was going to play at a high school, except it was "the school" that's the same school in all my dreams. and it didn't look like it, but i was in what i believed was an elementary school cafeteria in the front row watching the cast of that 70's show put on a musical. i thought it was weird, but i kept watching, then i turned around (we were sitting at those cafeteria tables with seats on both sides) and this butch bully girl was saying something to piss me off, i don't know, just because she was a bully, and instead of backing down i totally called her on it, and everyone around me was like, she's gonna beat you up for real. and looking at her i knew that she probably could beat me up, but i was so pumped up on confidence that i said, "bring it on, bitch!" haha, and she got so mad, and i said it again because i knew in my dream-mind that she wouldn't beat me up, so then i won. i don't know what there was to win, but i knew i won it.

then, i was in a college class because i had gone back to uh for medical school. they were holding the class outside on a lawn so there was rows and rows of metal folding chairs lined up on the lawn and i sat somewhere in the back. the professor was this japanese guy with white hair and he was telling us how medical school was so hard and "are you sure you know what you're getting into?" i was just sitting pretty because i knew that i already got my master's degree and i didn't really NEED to be there, so i was feeling all confident like i'd get through med school no problem and i didn't have to listen to this old guy's lecture. so i was doing a crossword puzzle and i was bare-ass naked! i guess i was naked because i said to myself that since i'm so bold and confident and i didn't really need medical school, i should do something completely new and exciting to make the most out of life. so i'm doing my crossword puzzle, but i'm cheating because i have the answers, so really i'm just copying the answers from one puzzle to the next one. then the guy sitting next to me says, "wow, that's pretty good, i try doing crossword puzzles but they're too hard." and i told him it was pretty easy, and he asked if i was doing the US Cemetery crossword puzzle, and i didn't know what that was so i asked him and he said that the whole puzzle was made up of the names of dead people and i thought that sounded pretty difficult. then the girl in back of me started talking to me, but i don't remember what she was saying and then the professor walked to the back row and saw that i was naked and told me i had to put some clothes on. and instead of being ashamed or whatever, i boldly told him, "what? you mean you want me to wear clothes EVERYDAY?" and he said, "YES! in fact, i want you to wear BRAND NEW clothes everyday!" and i said, "come on! we're not doctors YET!" and then everyone laughed and that girl behind me said it was pretty cool thing to say, but then she had to go to class so she left.

and that's all i remember!