#25 - production

i told myself last night that today would be a productive day... i'd get some work done (not real work, personal work, like taxes and stuff), get a good workout in somehow, enjoy the nice weather outside, play with the a-dawg, get some tennis in, whatever.

i woke up at 12:00 noon.

what's up with that? i know i've always had difficulty waking up early (re: excessive tardiness grades PreK-12), but this is getting ridiculous. of course, i am on vacation so i'm not feeling too bad about getting a full 11 hours of sleep, but when i get up i'm still exhausted. it's weird. don't tell me 11 hours of sleep STILL isn't enough, geez. anyway, so of course i couldn't get everything done that i wanted to today. usually that would make me feel really guilty, since i had all these plans and i couldn't get it accomplished. like during the work week when i'd plan to go to the gym after work and then something comes up that makes me work longer or i have to do family stuff and stay at home, i'd get real angry. but that's dumb. i gotta learn to go with the flow more and not get so caught up in my own scheduling and whatever.

anyway, that was the big fat epiphany that i had a couple of months ago... then i stopped worrying about those days that i missed my weekly gym workout or skipped a day surfing at the beach to couch potato it all day. sounds like the wrong direction to go right? sounds like i'm missing opportunities for fun and enjoyment? right, that's what i thought, but actually, those things had become less fun because i was constantly thinking that i need to be taking every opportunity to do those things when i can, especially since i started working full-time. so, in reality, even though they were fun things to do, making them so pre-planned and scheduled made them more stress-inducers than relievers.

so in the end... i decided to stop beating myself up everytime i skipped a workout or didn't go to the beach every sunny spring day. and that's worked out. i think that i had taken all those "seize the day" and "live with no regrets" quotes a bit too seriously. i thought that if i wasn't using every chance i get while i'm young and healthy to do these things, that i'd miss my opportunities and be sorry for it later. so everytime i'd go with my gut and against that, i'd feel guilty and depressed that'd i'd wasted my time. but that ain't right. you're always doing something (otherwise you'd be dead)... and if it ain't what you planned to do, that don't make it any worse (no matter how great you think your plans are). just gotta go with where life takes you and be glad that it got you there.


ps - so what did i do today instead of what i had planned?
- got an annual safety check for my car
- got an oil change
- ordered some upgrades for my new home
- babysat the nephew
- played with the a-dawg
- played the piano
- went to bed early