#214 - future thinking

future thinking is very dangerous. and i'm an addict.

i don't consider myself much of a worrier, but i am a victim of years and years of people telling me to plan ahead. being prepared and conscientious about the future has been instilled in me as a preferred character trait, and although i can appreciate the merits of being responsible, i think that all the pressure to be constantly planning ahead has done some negative things to my psychological well-being.

it wasn't always like this. i remember in middle school and high school i couldn't even envision myself being old enough to be in college. it was not something i could comprehend at the time. and when the big college rush came around junior and senior year, i was at a complete loss because i could barely picture myself being out of high school let alone picture myself living and spending every day in this college versus that college. what would i do with all the hours of the day when i was not in school? i couldn't formulate even a guess at the time.

but the good part about life is that it just goes on, whether you're ready or not. and so even though i couldn't imagine what my future would be like at the time, i didn't have to because it just happened, no matter what i thought about it. but now as i get older i have a lot more to think about. the possibilities are so much greater when you have more means and resources by which to live your life. and now that i have passed such milestones like landing a steady job, buying my own place, etc, there's much more to think about in the future and where i'm getting myself rattled is in that thinking. not just about the big stuff (y'know, marriage, kids, retirement) but the small and current stuff as well (weekend plans, what i'm going to do about this hobby or that). but what do i have to be worried or anxious about? when i start to worry about the future, about what i'm going to do about therapy at work on monday, or nervous about being in a new situation and meeting new people next week, or how much longer i'm going to stick it out in that orchestra, or when i'm finally going to meet a nice girl, or what i'm going to get my nephew for his birthday next week, and on and on and on... when those thoughts start to creep into my head i try to think back to these verses:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is life not more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about your clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown in the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, "What are we to eat?" or "What are we to drink?" or "What are we to wear?" All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for day is its own evil. Matthew 6:25-34

or, more simply put:

"live in the NOW man!" Garth Algar

y'know what helps with that? distractions... such as: the lonely island, they're those guys that do the funny digital shorts on saturday night live (by the way, snl is getting good again, weekend update is pretty great, and the recurring impersonations are awesome, bjork, charles barkley, etc). tonight's was "i'm on a boat" with t-pain. ha. i love it because they make it very realistic musically and visually, like a real rap video but with ridiculous words... so, like a real rap video. so for a good distraction to keep you living in the now and not thinking of anything remotely serious or important at all, check out this website (you can tell that it's a great site because one of the sites listed under "favorites" is realultimatepower.net, haha).