#78 - reconstruct

while i'm still not completely decided on whether or not the fall break is a good or bad thing (on the plus side, a week-long break from work is always a good thing, but at the expense of shortening the summer and making us start work in july in a sweltering room for an extra month and a half), i've gotta say that this has been one of the most eventful vacations i've had in a few years. the even better part about it is that i've had very little time to think about the fact that i've gotta go back to work, i've had lot of other things on my mind.

1. reconstruct - change is hard. sure. but, what the heck? it's good too. 1 week until freedom. wow, only one more week and i'll have my own place. i can barely believe it still. the good part about this whole process is that i bought it before it was built so that gave me 7 months of preparing to move out on my own (finally). i probably wouldn't have been ready if i had bought a resale and moved in right away. but this gave me lots of time to get my mind used to the idea of living on my own (even though the motivation is there, reality doesn't always match up, so i had lots of time for reality to catch up to imagination), and now i feel very prepared to start my life again, independently (kind of the whole point of this blog in the first place, if anyone remembers that).

2. continuation - usually when vacations come up i seem to slip back a little, i think i take vacations a little to enthusiastically and let myself regress in terms of what direction i want my life to go in. okay, way over-dramatically stated. what do i really mean... hmm... here's an example, during the regular work week i tend to fall behind on my sleep-getting and therefore fall behind on my exercise and workouts because of tiredness, then when vacation comes i think that i can use them as opportunities to regain some normalcy in my sleeping patterns and therefore reestablish positive workout cycles. what actually happens is i try to fill up my vacations with so many other things that are lacking during the working week (including the opportunity to stay up way late and therefore not get any more sleep than i would during the work week anyway) that my cycles are distorted even more than during the work week and i'm actually looking forward to getting back into the working routine to reestablish those routines (even though they're not ideal). this fall break though, i've been able to keep a positive rhythm flowing in addition to adding those vacation-type activities into my days, so i feel like i'm in good shape to keep up with myself during the upcoming work week and i feel like i will do better at not falling behind.

3. forward motion - all in all, things are looking up. it feels like i'm finally getting my life on some kind of track and that track ain't too shabby. my theme song right now is "up and up" by relient k (of course, what other band would it be?). of course, i can't stop now, because all along the way there'll be obstacles and hardships, but it's all about maintaining that forward motion. not falling back on contentment, but pushing forward. cause things are good when you're feeling positive and enjoying that forward striving movement. i know i've quoted relient k before, but this sums up my intentions at the moment:

yesterday was not quite what it could have been. as were most of all the days before. but i swear today with every breath i'm breathing in. i'll be trying to make it so much more // cause it seems i get so hung up on. the history of what's gone wrong. that the hope of a new day is sometimes hard to see. but i'm finally catching on to it. yeah the past is just a conduit. and the light there at the end is where i'll be //


ps - anyone see snl last night? i feel very optimistic that our generation is finally poised to make an impact on this world... why? take a look at this:



now, if you saw it and you instantly recognized every single character and why they're funny, then you too are among the current and future leaders of the world! finally, we've come to the age of determination! our childhood memories become reality! we control the culture of america! mwahahahahahaha!!!!